This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize