Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
