I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
