i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
