so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I deserve this hangover.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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