No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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