i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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