Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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