It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
