You just made me feel so damn special
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
