He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize