So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
