omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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