Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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