i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Semen is not good for contacts.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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