Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
