My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
