well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
tell me about the fingering
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