yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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