My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
