Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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