but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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