You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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