he wants to bone in the snuggie
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
