As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
