Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
