he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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