You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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