I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
