you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
