he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
