the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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