shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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