i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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