I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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