I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize
