He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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