STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We got so high we made milksteak
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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