her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
