a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
