I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
