Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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