My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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