did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
