there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
