Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
