tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize