A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
