What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
not ubering you a puppy
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
