either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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