is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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