How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
