its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
