Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
