I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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