So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
