Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
