I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize