Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize