We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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