I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
is it fun? or sober?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize