I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
