he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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