i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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