How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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