I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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