Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize