Please don't use social media to get back at me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
