White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
